Another pair of articles from The Salt-Water Gazette of 1835, this time featuring the supposed writings of the pier porter at Helensburgh, Mr John Guy. John Guy was indeed, a real character, but the frequent references to the Classics and snippets of Latin and Greek suggests that this humorous piece was a spoof at his expense, written by someone else. It gives some idea of Glasgow humour of the time. Of Helensburgh; Its antiquity, grandeur, and Commerce:—Impartially treated on, by Master John Guy, Steam-boat Porter in that Ilk.—In commencing a subject teeming with magnitude and importance, such as the present, one is apt to get bewildered, and be at a loss what thing first to touch upon. In like manner, an urchin relieved for a season from pedagogued thraldom, and turned loose into Mr. Isaac Baxter’s emporium of taste, with a carte-blanche to put forth his hand and take a certain...